the last word
by sandi tomlin-sutker

I’ve recently come face to face with some of my own biases about bodies, weight and what’s acceptable attire for the female body! In the past few years, we’ve all seen the rise of low-rise jeans as a predominant fashion statement. Most of the time, I see young women (often too young, in my opinion!) wearing these with a short top so a large amount of waistline and abdomen are exposed. And much of the time, these women have not been working out at the gym to get the flat abs I’d expect them to want to expose. Instead, I often see protruding bellies and extra “love handles”. And I’ve been a bit surprised at my own reactions. ‘Don’t they know how unattractive that look is’, I wonder.

I often see very large women in short-shorts, or cellulite revealing biking shorts. And I’ve thought, ‘Sheesh, don’t they have a mirror at home?’ Now, I’m self-aware enough to realize these are not politically correct thoughts! And I’m fairly aware of where in our culture and my own family upbringing they come from. And I’m also aware of how these judgments reflect my own poor self-image when I’m overweight.

So it was a delightful experience a few nights ago to see the daughter of friends at a party—dressed in a hip hugger skirt and simple knit top. She was a very attractive, voluptuous young woman who clearly felt comfortable in her body…even though she did not have the model-thin looks that seem to stay in vogue. My delight was about this: I think I see a real change in the current generation of younger women. They seem to be flaunting who they are, not who they should be according to some distorted media image. Oh, I know change of this sort doesn’t happen so quickly. But we all learn from each other, so as I see these young women feeling confident in the body they actually have, I feel more accepting of my own. And the young girls coming along behind them can see attractive female bodies of various types and shapes as examples to emulate.

And maybe Hollywood and the Paris runways will pay attention to what’s taking place in the real world? Well, probably not… but we are the consumers, after all. And if we buy clothing that fits our bodies, they’ll make more of it, right? (a great example is the availability now of Apple and Pear jeans for those of us with either of those shapes!)

It’s about each of us valuing and trusting ourselves enough to embrace who we are and expressing that out in the world.