the loo review
by julie parker

The Loo Review?? No, no...The Paper Trail! Toilet Tales? Uh,The Pissoir Police? Well, we aren't quite sure what we are going to call it yet, but here it is. You see, someone suggested we review restaurants, but I guess we didn't hear clearly because here is our inaugural column on restrooms of Western North Carolina.

"Ladies" rooms, that is. It all started last week when Sandi and I were having a marathon five-hour meeting at The Well Bred Bakery in Weaverville—of course we slipped off to the loo at some point, having consumed five hours worth of beverages—and discovered it to be not only clean and serviceable, but so delightful we were loath to leave it! And being a bit punchy from five hours of intense brainstorming about WNC WOMAN, it suddenly occured to us that we should review the loo! Did we dare? We did a sanity check with our closest confederates over the next few days and were met with unanimous approval. And without futher ado, their loo, from us to you, in review!

In her May 13, 2003 article "Well-Bred Bakery a beautiful, relaxing cafe", Constance E. Richards waxed rhapsodic about their "exquisite pastries". She went on to explain that Well Bred "has undergone a splendid transformation with heavy brass and frosted glass lamps suspended from the ceiling and lazily turning propeller fans overhead." Steve Shanafelt's "A buzz without borders: Part three in the search for WNC’s best coffees" published Jan 22, 2003 in Mountain Xpress praised the work of award-winning pastry chef Me-Shell Dennis. We say, that is all well and good, but have you seen their loo? Really, let's get our priorities straight here! The sure way to a woman's heart, oh public establishments (are you listening?) is through providing a spotlessly clean, gracious women's/ladies'/rest room. When you go the second mile and make it charming as all get out, as did Well Bred, you better believe we are going to tell our girlfriends! How many times have we eaten out with our women friends and told them when returning to the table "You have GOT to see the bathroom!"?

You know you have stumbled upon the crème de la crème of ladies rooms when you walk in and the decor is so unexpectedly delicious that for a moment you forget why you're there. This is exactly what happened when I first stepped into the loo at The Well Bred Bakery and Café. (Eventually the discrete porcelain fixture in the corner of the room reminded me of the purpose of my visit.)

I am not going to describe the room—go see for yourself. Of course, the place was immaculate. The toilet paper was in plentiful supply and rolled smoothly, rather than emerging grudgingly, square by square. I even peeked into the men's: smaller, also charming, but not a room to get lost in. They don't spend much time in there anyway.

We have decided we are going to celebrate the wonderful restrooms of Western North Carolina rather than bash the lousy ones: we are not going to be the "pissoir police". HOWEVER, some local restrooms are lockless, tp-less, and filthy as a rule, rather than an exception. What to do? Shall we exert the power of the press? For the moment, when we come across a really bad one, we will politely introduce ourselves to the manager, leave a copy of one of our loo reviews, and explain that we will return at a later (unspecified) date. For now, we choose to praise, not to pan, but be warned: don't piss us off!

visit the loo at:

The Well Bred Bakery & Café, 26 N. Main Street Weaverville, North Carolina 28803,828-645-9300.