swept up and redeemed
by deAnne hampton

We’ve come along way, my body and me. And though our relationship is far from perfect today there is an appreciation and respect that has been very hard won.

Early on, my body became a separate entity; a secret, shame- based, guilt-filled and yet in a strange and confusing way, desirable and special. I have often thought God to be both incredibly wise and immensely compassionate that along with the gift of life, we were not also endowed with the ability to see the future.

Our future. Many of us would have crumbled beneath the prospect of our chosen paths. For reasons I may never and don’t really need to know, I came through my childhood and teen years “attracting” inappropriate attention and relationships with various male members of my immediate and extended family. I use the word attract loosely because for the most part, I thought it was about me. That somehow, out of all the females in my family, there was something about me that elicited untoward attention. I was often bewildered at how those nearest and dearest to me would attach themselves in a way that I knew felt unsettling yet didn’t understand why. How could I? Without taking anyone down dark alleys or into more dark rooms than are necessary to make a point, what I want is to share the other side of those dark rooms that initiated me into a shame-based relationship with my body. After coming through my childhood and early teens with little value connected to my body—I spent many years abusing it and neglecting it myself. It was a learned behavior. And many more years in various types of therapies, group programs and hospitals attempting to relearn that this body is not separate from who I am and is in need of my care, even if my past had no prerequisite for care-taking.

It has been a very long journey. It has been a path that has taken me essentially out of the thoughts or understanding of my birth family. It has been a lonely and sometimes hopeless road.

But, I have finally found what, for myself, enabled me to release all that emotion and shadow that did not belong to me and create the relationship I have today with my body. I am, joyfully, passionately, powerfully devoted to trail running. Talk about free and abundant therapy! After moving to this scenic wonderland where one can put a foot in any direction and go for miles with only Mother Nature and the spirit world as companions, my exercise of jogging became an experience of attunement. And I got swept up. Again and again. My attitude shifted and my body took over and before I knew it, my body became something to be reckoned with. The capacity of my lungs, where I take in breath and lifeforce grew tremendously. The strength of my legs increased with every sure-footed determination to stretch myself, go higher, hang in there longer than I imagined I could. And over time, with some discipline and great devotion, along with the mystery of being marinated by the healing magic of the natural world; today I am pretty much amazed by what my body can do. Its power. Its strength. And the fact that it no longer feels like something separate from me that I should be ashamed of. Now I know that the light and strength and power of my spirit can be reflected in this body that I am at long last proud to claim as my own.

In the spiritual world, we are not defined by the size and shape of our bodies, yet in this world, we often are. Physical activity serves to really ground you into a center that cannot be denied. One that begins to reel the mind back into clarity. True, physical activity and commitment to the care of the body as the holy vessel it is has obvious benefits in changes to our appearance. But the greater value is the circular, all-inclusive advantage of empowering body, mind and spirit. They feed one to another. For me, it became increasingly difficult to buy into the mindset that I was in some way weak, damaged, my body the object of disdain when that same body can trailrun 7 miles a day, climbing mountains like I have wings on my feet.

No matter what life experiences you and your body have had together so far, I invite you to a new world. One where the plateau of your abilities is calling you higher to a new sense of ownership and power and awe of your body temple.One that you make a commitment to not just for the obvious external benefits it will afford you, but because there is a long, prosperous life ahead and this world has great need of you.

 

deAnne hampton is a former teacher and is currently in private practice as a therapist. She sees herself more as a “light on the path” for those inspired and yearning to change, yet in need of a support system. She has just completed a book Interior Joy! [828-296-0630; mtnjoy2@ cs.com]