mmmmm, mother

In language, the shape and sound an “m” makes
is almost universal for “mother.”
Mmmmm. It is a sound that hums on our lips and resonates
deep in our throat, living everywhere at once in that moment.

Mmmmm. Mother.
No matter that for a lifetime I have tried to
describe what my mother brings forth in me
like an artesian spring. Spurting uppure and clean from an unending source of love.

I’ve sung songs to her that died halfway through
because they could never shape the
meaning I meant to convey.
I’ve written poems about her that joined my dusty
piles of failures and didn’t say what I held
in my heart.

Who would think that love could be so complicated,
beyond the words we learn to tie to a mother’s
apron strings . . . like sacrifice . . . and nurture . . .
and always there for me. Like love . . .and do everything for me . . . and
listening to what I have to say.
But those are merely words . . . the words that the dictionary
has given us to say the right things about a mother,
to ask forgiveness for the hurts we’ve caused her
and the thoughtless acts we’ve taken that
left her stumbling in the dust.

Mmmmm. They don’t—those well-worn words –tell
us of the universe that moves into her heart on the day
you are born and becomes a galaxy over each passing day
to bear her up when you ask and beg and demand, when
you push and pull and use her to practice
finding your way . . . finding your place.

Mmmmm. She must become larger than the milky way to hold all your stars
and your broken dreams, your memories and
your forgotten soul. She must become
larger so that when you become lost and are fading into nothingness
she can bring you home again.
She must become greater than the salty sea to contain the
laughter and floods of tears that will rain
through your—and her—heart.

Mmmmm. Mother.

Kelle Olwyler is a management consultant who helps small, medium and large companies save time, effort and money when implementing change. She also facilitates large group process for businesses and communities who are facing a new future and need to achieve clarity and unity over the best direction to take and how to move forward. She can be contacted at 828-254-8049 or visit her website at kelbergan.com.