sales: the power of detachment
by anne alexander

One thing I love about us women is how passionate we can get about things. We can get emotional, we care—and three cheers for that, I say. In one aspect of life, however, we are well-advised to learn the art of detachment, and that is in the area of sales.

Sales has a bad rap for many, but the fact is, everyone is involved in selling. Many of us are involved in some form of selling, or bringing in revenues, for the company we work for, or the company we own. Beyond that, we try to sell all kinds of things, from trying to “sell” our political beliefs to “selling” our partners on where to go to dinner. Keep in mind, sales is not a recent invention, but rather a very old profession. Once our cave dwelling ancestors had anything extra, they started trading—selling—for goods and services.

I believe sales is an honorable endeavor and a vital one, because the way I see it, our job as salespeople is to help our customers solve their problems. The good news is that there are tons of problems out there needing to be solved. Why is this good news? Because our job is to solve as many as we can. So you see this is an abundant universe, especially if you’re in sales!

What do I mean by helping people solve their problems? Let me give a few examples. What problems does Althea Gonzalez, manager of Essential Arts store, solve for her customers? She solves their problems of finding an appropriate gift for a family member or friend, finding books and tapes and videos to explore their spirituality and health, finding ways to celebrate and add pleasure to their lives with candles, chimes and the like.

Now, I spoke at the beginning about an attitude that I believe is very powerful in the sales process—that of detachment. Many of us struggle with the sales aspect of our work lives. One reason for this is that we tend to get very attached to each deal or prospective sale. After all, each sale means our business grows and we feel validated. But what does it mean if we treat each prospect as the last one on the planet? It means that we are attached. . .needy. . . forceful. And when we are attached, needy or forceful, we repel. This is obviously the opposite of what we want, which is to attract.

We must not care whether a potential client buys from us or not. We need to be detached—then we can let go of a potential customer if it is not shaping up to be a likely deal. We need to tell our prospect some version of “It’s OK if you don’t buy from me. It’s OK to say no.” This shows detachment. And detachment is attractive.
Here’s an example. Let’s say Althea is at her job. I come in and say I’m looking for a gift for a friend. Althea might say something like, “Well, I’m not sure if I can help. Maybe you could tell me a little about your friend’s interests and we’ll see if there’s anything here that might work.” The key phrase is: “I’m not sure I can help.” This relieves some of the pressure I feel when approached by someone in a sales capacity.

And, truthfully, Althea is not sure if she can help. She might even direct me to another shop if she thinks it might have what I am looking for. This shows me that she is not going to use every trick in the book to sell me, but rather her goal is to see if what she has to offer really is right for me. When we’re detached, it gives us courage to say the things and ask the questions that we need to in the sales process. We’re not just trying to be best buddies with the prospective customer in order to get the sale. We need to ask tough questions to understand what their problems truly are and whether or not we can help them.

Do you remember the classic movie Miracle on 34th St.? The management of Macy’s Department Store unwittingly hired the real Santa Claus to play Santa in their store during the holidays. Santa started sending customers down the street to competing stores, if he knew the other store had the toy the child wanted or had a better price. Management caught wind of this, was furious, about to toss Santa out on his ear, when customers started coming to them in droves, telling them how wonderful Macy’s was because they obviously truly cared about the customer. And it ended up being very profitable for Macy’s. Now enlightened, Macy’s management kept Santa on staff and taught all the salespeople the same philosophy. This philosophy was detachment: Santa was detached from making any particular sale.

So detachment means we’re OK whether we make the sale or not. To be detached, we must have an ultimate belief in abundance. We must know that even if a particular prospective customer does not buy from us…there are plenty who will. Any lack or shortcoming is only temporary. We must not repel, we must attract, and the key to this is—paradoxically—detachment. So go out there, help solve people’s problems, and be detached. Then you will find the rewards flowing to you, abundantly!

Anne Alexander is owner of Authentic Alternatives Business Breakthroughs Coaching. She can be reached at (828) 225-8750 or anne@authentic-alternatives.com.