woman with altitude
by asa huggett

Welcome to the top of the mountain. I climbed the mountain for you, even though you didn’t know it until now.

When I climbed this mountain, I knew I was doing it for more than just me; I knew I was climbing it on behalf of my community, a community of women—for you. I did it so you won’t have to, but if you choose to, I’ve marked the path to show you the way. “Why on earth do you need to go to Peru and climb mountains?” my dad had asked me. It was a valid question. After all, I had been raised the middle child of a middle-class family in the Midwest. I had grown up, gone to college, gotten married, had kids, moved to the suburbs and drove a Volvo. Get the picture?

So what was I doing standing on top of Wayna Picchu grinning at the camera? As near as I can remember, it had started when I woke up on the morning of my 40th birthday and said to myself, “Okay, now I am a grown up and nobody is going to tell me who to be or what to do. I am going to decide for myself.” And with that one statement of intent I began the search for my authentic self, although at the time, 15 years ago, I had no idea that was what I was doing.

Those early mountains were pretty tough. At 40 I had two children and was in the midst of divorce, breaking rank from the way it was “supposed to be.” I didn’t know what I would do or how I would survive. I just knew I had to have the freedom “to be who I really am.” That was the phrase that kept running through my head. I didn’t quite know what it meant, but I just kept aiming in that direction, following my intuition and hoping for the best.

The journey led me through the divorce, graduate school, a job, and into massage school, all the while raising two teenagers and renovating an old house. It sure felt like I was climbing a mountain even if I wasn’t sure I was getting anywhere. But I was. Every time I climbed another hill or struggled hand over fist to get through another day, I learned one thing—I could do it. Each day, each challenge was another bump in an already rocky road, but each step took me closer and deeper into who I am. I learned about hard work and a commitment to my own growth, and I learned about other people and the mountains they had to climb. I walked with people who had spinal cord injuries and debilitating illnesses, other single moms, and women who have known unimaginable pain and sorrow. I learned that we all have our mountains. Some people climb them consciously and some don’t.

The ones who are aware and willing to accept the challenge know that they are engaging with an opportunity to learn a great deal about themselves and how they want to be in the world. I began to look for the difference, why some grow strong and others crumble under the stress. I asked the deeper questions and I have come to believe that we all have a seed within us. It is a seed with the need to grow, to expand and burst its shell and reach toward the sun, toward the light.

The way we feed and nurture that seed and give it the energy to grow is by climbing the mountain that is put in front of us each day. It’s helpful to recognize your mountains, the ones you can climb easily and with joy and the ones you try to avoid or pretend aren’t there. Those are the important ones, they’re the ones that hold the secrets, but they also hold the truths of who you are becoming. You have to climb mountains in your life, it’s unavoidable, but when you climb with awareness you will learn and grow and become strong. We begin to believe in ourselves, not just the ability to survive, but to have faith in our ability to get to the top, recognizing our willingness to step out with strength, wisdom, and courage, believing in our personal integrity and our commitment to be better and do more.
It is important that we take on the challenge of climbing our personal mountains, to take those first steps toward self discovery, to ask ourselves the deep questions, and nourish the seed of our Authentic Selves so that we can grow the fruit of healthy self esteem. Yes, we need to do it for our own personal growth, but more importantly we need to do it for the good of our world.

One of the images that kept appearing during my trip to Peru was of seeds that had taken root and sprouted between the stones of Incan walls, even the ones that are renown for the tightness of their seams. I saw over and over again how one little seed could push aside rock and walls that had stood for hundreds of years, just out it’s sheer need to grow toward the sun. They were strong enough to cause walls to collapse.

We are the seeds and we need to rise up to the challenge, to climb the mountains, to be willing to grow and become strong, power-full women. Not in the old paradigm of masculine power that is vested in having power over, but the kind of feminine power that comes up from underneath like the energy of our Mother Earth, holding, pushing and nurturing growth. The world needs our balancing energy. We are still living within the walls of the old ways of being in the world, the ways that allow the destruction of our Earth, the abuse of our children, the manipulation of our hearts and the selling of our souls. It is time for that to stop, for those walls to come tumbling down.

The journey to personal power, to healthy self esteem, is a journey you have to take for yourself, but remember, others have gone before you and marked the path. There will be women along the way reaching out a hand to help you over the rough spots, to encourage you to keep going even when you are drenched in sweat and your knees are shaking with exhaustion. So, climb your mountains and grow the seed of your power.

Whether it’s five more minutes on the treadmill, another day in class, saying no to something you didn’t want to do anyway, or yes to an opportunity that scares you. Do it. Grow it. Our world needs you and the gifts you have brought with you.