funny, isn't it?
by jeanne charters

I’ve been reading the Jane Fonda autobiography, and it got me thinking about women and how our lives are divided up into very distinct and unpredictable sections…and how much we have in common and how much not in common with our sisters.

Jane and I are close to the same age, so parallels can be drawn, however disparate our lives.
Jane is now in Act 3 of her life . . . so am I
Jane grew up in Hollywood…I grew up in rural Ohio
Jane’s daddy was a famous movie star…mine tended his grocery store
Jane had poor self esteem as a girl…mine was great until…I forget when
Jane’s mother killed herself…mine wanted to kill me
Jane was bulimic most of her life…I got fat in college
Jane did threesomes to please Roger Vadim…I made pies to please Ed
Jane protested Viet Nam…I was so busy having babies I barely read the papers
Jane produced workout tapes…I nearly killed myself trying to do them
Jane's third husband was Ted Turner…my second was Matt
Jane’s divorced from Ted…I’m still with Matt (I’m not crazy.)
Jane wrote an autobiography…I’m writing a novel.

Once, while living in Albany, I actually met Jane Fonda. She was there making a political movie with Kris Kristofferson and I encountered her in the State Capitol. I got as close as possible, trying to see how I measured up against this world-famous ideal of female perfection. We were about the same height, but what astounded me was that her wrists were roughly half the size of mine. She was so narrow! That’s when I realized why I looked anorexic if I tried to get down to that 120 pound body weight while she looked perfect at it.

I think that young women today are fighting the same fight as I did back then. They see a movie star or super model and think they can replicate that body image if they starve themselves. Guess what, girls? It can’t happen. Their skeletal structures are different than ours. So, eat up.
Anyway, back to Act 3.

It’s important for us, as women, to realize that we will probably reconstruct ourselves often in order to reach our goals and fulfill our obligations to others. My one talent, always, was for writing. (Well, I’m a pretty fair cook, too.) But it took me to this advanced age to find the time and resources to write my first book. In my 20’s, I was producing children. In my 30’s, I was supporting them. In my 40’s and 50’s, I was finally growing up myself and building a career in broadcast.

As you probably know, writing a book is a dicey financial prospect. Not many people manage to get themselves published. The first “Harry Potter” book was rejected by every publishing house and only came to light when an astute editor picked it up off a reject pile because she was bored and had nothing else to read. Now, that’s a daunting thought for any prospective novelist.

Here’s what I’ve learned about writing fiction:
You take classes to learn the structure of a novel. You read lots of books on “how to”. Finally, you realize that you MUST BEGIN.
You get an idea in your head and you start. You try to force yourself to get at that computer and write every day, if only for 10 minutes. The book you start becomes a different animal altogether than you’d planned, and that can be scary. Your characters begin to take their lives into their own hands and will not let you do what you think they should do with their lives. They can be downright bullheaded.

Once, I decided a character of mine would develop post partum psychosis; and after a month of researching and writing about the illness, the character came to me in a dream and said, “Now, come on, Jeanne…you know I’m not the type for that.” Instead, she dies of tuberculosis. That’s what she wanted, and that’s what she gets.

It’s very peculiar and very exciting to finally be writing this book. I spend time mentally setting myself up for failure and qualifying my every conversation about it with:

“Well, you know I have a better chance of being struck by lightning than getting published.”

Why do I do that to myself? Because, like many women, I’ve had lots of practice at it. Funny, isn’t it that we think that preparing for failure will somehow help us survive it if it happens? Intellectually, I know that’s B.S., but old habits die hard and old tapes keep playing in my head from a mother who didn’t believe in taking any chances in life whatsoever.

The important thing, dear reader, is to remember that, God willing, there will come a time in your life for your Act 3…when you will write your book, sing your song, paint your painting, run for office, or find that cure for cancer. As long as your health holds out, there’s no limit on Act 3…and it will be the most exciting act of your life. I guarantee it!

Jeanne Charters is a former V.P. of Marketing for Viacom Television. She started her own award-winning broadcast advertising agency in 1990. Jeanne lives in Fairview with her husband, Matt Restivo. [ charmkt@juno.com; 828-628-0023 ]